What happened to Television?

Remember Wings? It was hilarious. Ahh, the memories.  The good ole Hackett brothers were always getting into shenanigans. Roy was a riot. Fay was pretty funny too, but Lowell, he was what made the show great. You could always count on Lowell for the comic relief.

This is Lowell

Wings was legit. It was too legit. It was too legit to.......Umm......stop being legit. Wait, it was too legit to concede from its aforementioned legitimacy. No, that doesn't work either. There has got to be a better way to phrase this, but I am just drawing a blank here.

Too legitimate to resign?

The things that air on TV nowadays make me cringe. What happened? MTV doesn't show music. The History Channel doesn't show history, and The Learning Channel has shows about people with learning disabilities           

They have more money than you

How is this entertainment? There is a show on A&E that's about people with a bunch of shit in their houses. There is a show on Bio, where D-List Celebrities talk about how they thought they saw a ghost one time. Reality TV has gone too far. Jersey Shore is in its 6th and final season. How does that happen? How does Arrested Development, quite possibly the greatest show ever, get canceled, meanwhile Jersey Shore goes for 6 seasons?

  What the fuck is a snooki? 

The biggest problems with these shows is that they get ratings. People are actually watching this

garbage and all that does is entice the networks to churn out more bullshit. I remember watching America's Funniest Home Videos as a kid. Not because I liked America's Funniest Home Videos, but because it we only had 6 channels and it was the only thing on. Sure each episode would have some decent clips, like dad getting hit in the nuts

or grandma falling out of her chair. 

Lol, Classic Grandma

It was elementary humor but at least it was genuine. Everything now is staged. One major flaw in reality shows is that they contain about as much reality as an episode of WWE Monday Night Raw. Nobody has that much drama in their lives, but then again no one wants to watch a bunch of housewives cooking and cleaning. Instead they get sloppy drunk and fight each other or hook up with a random bus boy at the Mexican restaurant they frequent, because they have a margarita addiction. I've actually never watched an episode of Real housewives, so this is all conjecture and heresy at this point, but I can't imagine that it's that far off. These shows are garbage, and I don't know about you, but I would much rather watch witty banter between Lowell and Roy, than watch that drunk slut Snooki fall down at the beach.

This is a Snooki

It seems like anything can be a show now. Anything at all. Every idea that gets pitched at these network board meetings gets the green light. How about a show with a bunch of dudes who are addicted to wearing stupid hats? Great idea. We'll call it Fedora Fever and air it on Tuesday nights after Midget Cake Wars. How about a show where two gay men buy and sell stringed instruments? Better idea. We'll call it, The Cello Fellows and it can air Monday nights in between Midget Pawn Stars and Guys who always mess up MC Hammer lyrics.

Don't touch that?

Needless to say, creativity and originality have regressed, simply because they're no longer in demand. People are going to tune in no matter what's on. What else are they going to do? Watch the news? They'd rather keep up with the Kardashians. I hear Kourtney and Khloe are taking Miami, whatever the hell that means. That show should be named, "Two sluts who are famous because their sister made a sex tape, with a guy who was only famous because his sister used to be famous."

No caption necessary

Perhaps, I'm just a curmudgeon. I'm not even 30 yet and I'm saying things like, "Back in my day" and "I remember when". I feel the same way about skinny jeans and dub-step as my parents felt about baggy jeans and rap. Does this mean I'm not hip? I hope it doesn't. I'm usually able to keep calm and carry on with an optimistic disposition, or to put it in more relevant terms, I have swag. It's just that sometimes I feel like canceling my DirecTV and start reading books or something. Then I remember that books are stupid. I'll just continue watching the tube and maybe drink some Brawndo.

Brawndo is what plants crave

Maybe it's just the influx of channels that is causing the mass production of these diarrhea shows. We used to have 6 channels and now we have 500+. There has to be something to fill all those time slots and that is exactly how we wound up with shows like, Here comes Honey Boo-Boo, Buckwild, Gator Boys, Pawn Stars, Cajun Pawn Stars,  Hardcore Pawn, Auction Kings, Cake Boss, Kate plus 8, Yukon Men, Totally T-Boz, Storage Wars, Barter Kings, Ice loves Coco, Khlole and Lamar, The Real Housewives of Atlanta, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, The Real Housewives of Miami, The Real Housewives of Orange County, I married a Mobster, Four Weddings, Amish Mafia, Dog the Bounty Hunter, American Pickers, American Restoration, Teen Mom, Rocket City Rednecks, South Beach Classics, Parking Wars, Hoarding: Buried Alive, and Basketball Wives.  

Yeah, I think I'd just rather watch old episodes of Wings. Did I mention Wings yet. Lowell was hilarious