KFC - The Double Down Dissapointment

It was a Wednesday. Not a typical Wednesday but a Wednesday nonetheless. The kind of Wednesday that sort of feels like a Tuesday, despite the fact that neither Tuesday nor Wednesday have distinct feels to them, but you know what I mean. I was hungry. I was real hungry. The kind of hunger that takes precedence over any other feeling or emotion I may have had at the time. Nothing else mattered. Nothing. Not the inclement weather or the lack of gas in my car, or the fact that I didn't feel like getting gas because I didn't want to get out of my car due to the aforementioned inclement weather, or  the fact that the Wednesday that felt like a Tuesday was actually a Thursday. I was Hungry. That is all that mattered.

I got into my car and proceeded to drive with no intended destination. My Taste bud GPS then led me to a KFC, where I made the health-conscience decision to get blacked out on fried chicken and mashed potatoes with gravy. Upon reviewing the menu, I decided to call an audible at the intercom. "I'll have the double down sandwich" , I shouted. Rather than spend $20 on a family meal, I opted for a more fiscally responsible dinner.  Two giant chicken fillets with cheese and bacon in between, Argh Argh Argh Argh Argh..

 How have I never tried this sandwich before? I always knew about it, but for some reason it has eluded me and my hunger for the entire year and a half it's existed. I sped home the entire way anxiously awaiting the sandwich that I anticipated would change my life. Then I unwrapped the wrapper, and took a bite. That was the moment when everything changed. It became immediately clear that I had become a victim of false advertisement. The Double Down was half the size it appeared to be in the commercials. I then learned to appreciate the traditional sandwich structure we've all grown accustomed to. Bread-meat-bread, that's how it should be. Meat-meat-meat, well that doesn't quite work as well. If there was bacon in that sandwich, I couldn't taste it, due to the over abundance of chicken around it. The whole situation just put me in a bad mood. Here I am, expecting a sandwich to change my life, and not only does it not change my life, but it makes me hate myself for thinking it would change my life.

It was kind of like setting your DVR to record an episode of Baywatch, and instead it records an episode of Baywatch Nights. That's the same level of disappointment I felt while eating the Double Down. Why was Baywatch Nights even a show to begin with? Who would've been entertained by that? People tuned in to Baywatch to see Pamela Anderson and Yasmine Bleeth frolic in the sand. Nobody wanted to see David Hasselhoff and his black lifeguard friend fight crime at night. That was a ridiculous premise for a show. Seriously, who would want to watch that? Unless of course, they added a hot female character to the show to grab everyone's attention, then it may have changed that shows fate. It's not like there weren't plenty of options. Carmen Electra, Traci Bingham, Yasmine Bleeth, although I was thought Yasmine Bleeth's career was cut short. She could've had a blissful exuberant Hollywood career, but unfortunately she had a cocaine problem, which doesn't actually make you cool until you're already famous.

Either way this isn't about Yasmine Bleeth. It's about the KFC Double Down, and my disapproval for it. So, if you're thinking about ordering it, don't. It sucks.... Also it doesn't actually look like this when you order it. Not even close.

                                                           It's not worth it. Trust me.