Flair Bartending.....

 Umm Hello sir, may I please have a Jack and coke. Only I have a few requests on how to serve it. First I would like you to pick up the bottle of Jack Daniels and flip it up in the air. Then I would like you to catch it behind your back. Repeat this process 6 or 7 times. Then hold the bottle as far away from the glass as you can and pour the jack in the glass. If you miss the glass and spill it all over the counter it's ok. You still look really cool pouring the Jack in the glass. Then instead of just picking up the soda nozzle and spraying it in the glass, toss the nozzle in the air with your left hand and catch it in your right hand while looking in the opposite direction and bobbing your head to the music. Awesome job so far, you're doing great. Now spray the soda in the glass. Please take your time. It's not like there's 30 other people standing around waiting for a drink. Besides, it only took 20 minutes to get your attention anyway. Of course, I want to wait another 6 minutes to get a drink so that I can watch you throw bottles in the air and catch them. It's all about you. You are just like Tom Cruise in Cocktail. So Amazing....Here is my debit card, just toss it in the tip jar you deserve it.


I realize that it's a skill. I couldn't do it. I still find it annoying though, just give me my damn drink. I'm glad that bartending is the only occupation with this defect. I'm glad that there is no such thing as like Flair cashiering or Flair waitressing. Flair waitressing would be a disaster. The last thing I want you doing with my Chicken Parmagiana is throwing it up in the air and trying to catch it behind your back. Even if you do make the catch you'll probably get a hair in it or something. Then I'll have to call a manager to my table and make a complaint. I'm sure the manager would offer me a free meal. I still would be skeptical about the kitchen crew though. I've seen the movie "Waiting" I know how these line cooks are. They are probably back there right now ripping out pubic hairs and putting them on my Prime Rib. I don't care if the meal is free or not, im not eating a pube steak.

                            I don't see any dartboards or pool tables...... that's a weak-ass bar