Eating at home is a great way to save money, but cooking takes time. Time that you may not have. Sometimes you just want to dine out and let the restaurant do all the work. But which restaurants do you choose? Here are some options.
Pros: 11oz Sirloin for $9.99
Cons: They play country music at a loud volume.
It's not the best steakhouse in the world but it's also not the worst. Plus, every Wednesday night, you can get yourself an 11oz sirloin for $9.99, which is as good of a deal as you're going to find. Unfortunately for you, everyone else in the county knows this as well. So you can look forward to long waits and no parking spots. You'll likely wind up parking in the adjacent Home Depot parking lot and walking across the street. Also, try your hardest not to have any peanut allergies, because while you wait, you're required to sit in a small alcove with barrels and barrels of shelled peanuts, and you can either eat them, or just pick up handfuls and throw them on the ground for no reason. It doesn't quite make sense to me. They don't open until 4:00, but somehow by 5:00, the floor is already covered in shells. Who eats that many fucking peanuts? It's baffling to me. Nevertheless, decent steak at a great price earns Texas Roadhouse a 7/10
Chilis:
Pros: They have tablets at every table that speed up the ordering process, and help ensure order accuracy.
Cons: Even if your order is correct, you're still eating at Chilis
This place fucking sucks. I mean, what is Chilis even? Is it a Mexican restaurant? The name and logo imply that it might be. They sell fajita platters which is usually another indicator, but they also sell cheeseburgers, which makes me confused. At least they're consistent with the mediocrity and blandness of their menu. Chilis is the perfect restaurant for someone who has no taste buds, or self esteem, or will to live. I'd rather eat cat shit, covered in dog shit, mixed with bird shit. 3/10
Longhorn Steakhouse
Pros: The steak is titillating (Ha, I said tit) especially the smoky bacon sirloin
Cons: The smoky bacon sirloin is only available two months out of the year. It's more exclusive than the McRib.
Probably my favorite place to eat. The steak is damn good. The chicken is damn good. The sides are damn good. I even eat the salads. And I'm a picky eater. I don't usually eat salad. I didn't try a vegetable until I was 27 years old, so you know the salad there must be good. My only qualm with Longhorn, is that the butter they bring you with your bread is too hard to spread. Instead of it spreading like it should, it just tears a hole in your bread and pisses you off. Then you wind up with a slice of bread with a gaping hole in it that's bland as shit, except for that one super buttery bite. I don't now why they can't just bring some squeezable butter instead. Anyways, Longhorn is the shit. 9/10
Waffle House:
Pros: They're open 24 hours
Cons: The scrambled eggs give you AIDS
No one has ever eaten at Waffle House sober, so what does that tell you about the quality of the food? I got dragged there once at 3am after a long night of partying and way too much jaegermeister. The kitchens at these places are out by the dining area, so you can watch your meal get made. And It was either the alcohol rushing through me that night, or watching the ex convict cook ashing his cigarette in the pancake batter, that made me sick to my stomach. I ran to the bathroom to throw up, but there was already someone in there throwing up. So I just puked in the trash can instead, and then went out to the parking lot to take a nap. All in all, it was a rather unpleasant experience. Waffle House gets a 1/10
54th Street Bar and grill
Pros: Lots of cool shit on the walls
Cons: The menu gives me anxiety
I've eaten here a few times and it's delicious, but it's also a bit nerve wracking trying to order. The tacos are good, I know that. But they also have country fried steak somehow. The menu is like 37 pages long. They're all over the place. How is it possible that you can order spaghetti AND fajitas at the same restaurant? Pick an identity 54th Street! I'm hungry, quit giving me so many options. It's too stressful.
Overall though, the food is off the chain. 9/10
Pizza Hut:
Pros: Breadsticks
Cons: Everything else
Pizza Hut is the king of the gimmick. They believe that creativity supersedes quality and that's how they wound up with items like the hot dog pizza.
I don't know what the hell is going on at the Pizza Hut headquarters, but it seems like they're just sitting around a table, passing around a bong, being like, "Ok, ok man. What if we made like, a pizza that looks like a taco, stuffed with cheeseburgers. No, wait. What about a pizza where the crust is made of smaller pizzas!
How about you guys just make a pizza that doesn't suck? How about that? Until then, I'll keep calling Dominos.
Pizza Hut = 4/10
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