Toy Story 3

Why was this movie even made? There's no point to it. No lesson. No message.

Toy Story had a message. That message was that envy gets you nowhere, and you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover. Toy Story 2 had a message. It's better to be loved than to be immortal. The only message delivered by Toy Story 3 is that Andy was a fucking loser. What were those toys still doing in his room anyway? He was 17. Seventeen year olds don't play with toys. Realistically those toys would've been packed up in the attic, or passed down to a younger cousin, or sold in a garage sale for way less than what they're worth. We could've gotten way more for those Ninja Turtles mom, I'm just saying...

The very premise is baffling. Incoming college freshman, hesitant to enter ungodly awesome party scene, for fear of abandoning his green army man collection? That might be the least identifiable character in movie history. Also, the fact that the toys still looked up to Andy like he was a god seemed a bit ridiculous. I don't see how they respected Andy so much after being present in the room, while he went through puberty. Who knows how many times Rex and Mr. Potato Head sat there on the shelf,  watching Andy furiously masturbating to reruns of Charmed on TNT.

What the fuck is he doing!

The only explanation I can think of for this movie's existence is that the Pixar studios were under pressure from Tim Allen to make another sequel because he blew all his Santa Claus money on cocaine. Talk about squeezing every possible penny imaginable from a previously respectable movie franchise. To make things worse, they are in the process of planning a fourth installment to the series to be released in 2017. I have no idea what Toy Story 4 is going to be about but if I had to guess, I'd say it will be about a then 27 year old Andy getting a divorce once his wife learns of the sexual relationship he's been having with Slinky-Dog. I mean, What the fuck Pixar? Stop it already.