At least you're not a bear.

Would you take a look at this bear?  Just sitting back, staring off into space, thinking about life. What could he possibly be pondering? His life is simple, right?  He's a bear. He has no bills to pay. He isn't plagued with the ownership of a vehicle that constantly requires costly repairs. He doesn't have to rehearse an argument he plans on getting into with his boss later in the day. He just has to be a bear, and do common everyday bear things. You know, like eating fish, growling a lot, maybe climbing a tree if he so chooses. Plus when winter comes, he just goes to sleep. Winter sucks, and bears figured that shit out real quick. Bears are like, "It's gonna be how cold? Below freezing? Yeah, that sounds awful. I think we're just going to nap for a few months. We'll wake up when it doesn't suck so much outside.

Admit it. You envy this lifestyle at least a little bit. I'm not implying that you're unhappy with your current situation, but even the biggest optimist has their breaking point. You could be stuck in traffic, already late, pissed off because you left your cell phone at home, while trying to think of a good enough excuse to use in order to cancel plans with that one friend, that you're not even sure why you're friends with in the first place. Maybe tell them that you have food poisoning from those tacos that you ate last night. Never mind you can't, because you used that excuse the last time. Come to think of it, you used it the last couple times you were supposed to hang out. What were you thinking? There's no way you can use that line again. It's bad enough now, because when you do actually meet up, you have to pretend like you're all disgusted by the thought of tacos. Now not only are you confronted by a night out with bad company, but you have to do so without the sweet comfort of crumbled ground beef and shredded cheese in delicious flour tortillas.

When did life become so tough? Do you know what's going through that bear's mind right now? Nothing. He's probably just sitting there drinking from a brook, completely serene without a care in the world. If there is an inner monologue in the mind of bear it probably goes like this,

"This water sure is good,  Bear. Being Bear is cool. I'm gonna go sniff that rock. Maybe after that, go find some honey. But let's not be too over zealous, Bear, You should probably take a nap first."

Why is this? Why are things so much more complicated for us? Why do Bears refer to themselves in the third person? Why?

The simple answer is that our missions in life are different. Our appetites for material possessions  take precedence over our actual appetites.  Bears obsess over honey. We obsess over money. And while we strive to obtain extravagances, bears only strive to stay alive.

Ah, ah,, ah, ah Stayin alive' Stayin Alive'

We wake up in the morning dreading the workload that awaits us, and stress ourselves out over every detail that doesn't go our way. Like the fact that your boss is breathing down your neck about the Watson account, or the bitchy look Linda from Accounting gave you when you took the last donut. Bears don't have problems like this. Oh, no! Their problems are quite different. They wake up in the morning thinking,

Man, I really hope I don't die today. Finding some food would be cool too, but the main objective is not to die.

There's no justice in the wild. There are no Amber alerts for missing cubs. Mother Nature is a cruel mistress and as any member of the animal kingdom, all you can do is pray you don't become prey. What kind of way is that to live?

Sure the excessive nap taking, the lack of any responsibility, and the all-you-can-eat salmon might sound like the Bee's knees, but you have to realize that the cons outweigh the pros. Plus bees don't even have knees, so what the fuck?

As you can see, there are no knees on this bee.
 

So the next time life hands you lemons, and you can't even make lemonade with them because you don't have any water, or sugar, or a lemon peeler, or even a pitcher to put it in. I mean, I guess you could just find a couple of glasses and make individual servings, but it seems more practical to make lemonade in larger quantities. It's just... it takes a while to make. It would become a nuisance if you had to make it one glass at a time, right? It's a shame life can hand you more supplies, but since it usually doesn't, just relax, take a deep breath, and take solace in the fact that at least you're not a bear.

Bears have it rough.

Maybe that's what he was pondering