The Facebook experience

I joined  Facebook a year ago, and have learned a lot about social networking during that time. I'd like to share what I've learned with you if that's OK. OK, alright...

1. Acceptance of a friend request does not imply friendship, however denial of a friend request means you're definitely NOT friends.

2. The phrases Whoot Whoot and Woop Woop are posted frequently despite their complete absence in everyday conversation. Example:  So pumped for girl's night out, Whoot whoot.  When have you ever heard anyone say these words out loud to express excitement?  I'm just saying...

3. If you cook a really awesome bad-ass dinner, you are required to post a picture of it. Otherwise, no one will believe, that you cooked a really awesome bad ass dinner.

4. Many of you need to retake third grade English. Seriously, it's pretty bad. I'm not going to sit here and chastise anybody for misspelling a word or two. It happens. However, if I have to read your post three times in order to understand it, then it becomes a problem. Especially if you are trying to prove a point. I've read several political posts that are riddled with grammatical errors. The worst thing to do when attempting to insult someones intelligence is to misspell the word "intelligence".

5. It seems that a lot of people are posting on Facebook while driving. For every, "Traffic sucks" status I read, I figure there has to be a person who just got into an accident, due to the fact that they were paying more attention to their phone than their surroundings. Ironically, causing the very traffic that sucks, according to the aforementioned status update. This is way more dangerous than texting while driving, and can't it just wait until you get home or wherever you're going? It's not worth putting yourself and others at risk to type, LOL on your friends picture of their dog wearing a fedora. Although, dogs wearing hats are hilarious.

6. You'll never be more popular in your life than you are, when it's your birthday on Facebook. People who you've never been friends with, and can't figure out how they became your Facebook friend, will write "Happy Birthday" on your wall. Some people have Facebook accounts, solely for this reason. They just like to tell people, Happy Birthday.

7. The most important part of any workout regimen, is the gym check-in. What good is a work out if no one knows that you are currently working out?

8. Any quote with a tropical backdrop is Facebook gold. Any quote, it doesn't matter whether it's inspirational, motivational or just a song lyric. If there is a picture of a beautiful landscape or sunset in the background, people will like it.  Example:

I could post this picture tomorrow and get 50 likes.

9. Notification let-downs happen almost daily. There's nothing worse than logging on, and seeing that 1 in the globe in the top left-hand corner of the screen. You're thinking, sweet someone liked or commented on my status, whoot whoot. Then you click on it, and cringe when you see that it's just another dickweed sending you a free full-length movie in Flixster, or inviting you to try Birthdays.

10. Many of us, myself included, spend entirely way too much time on Facebook. By the way, don't forget to like this link on Facebook.