The I don't use my turn signal guy.
So, here I am waiting to make a left turn, but there is a car coming. So I wait and I wait, and then the car I was waiting for decides to turn right without signaling. I could've turned the whole time. What a dickhead. It's called a turn signal you cockturd. Thanks for making me wait.
The my DD breasts are falling out of my top, BUT HELLO MY EYES ARE UP HERE chick.
Well excuse me, but I thought maybe your store-bought breasts that you barely cover up when you go out were meant to be looked at. Maybe you can call the surgeon who did your tits, and have him transplant your eyes onto them. Until then, trust me nobody is looking at your eyes.
Quiktrip Cashiers
Cashier: Would you like a receipt
Me: No thanks
Cashier: Okay thank you, Have a good one
Me: Okay you too
Cashier: Take it easy
Me: (inching towards the door) Ok
Cashier: Have a good day
Me: (almost outside by now) Ok
Cashier: See ya later
Me: WOULD YOU QUIT SAYING BYE TO ME, SO I CAN GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE ALREADY
Nicholas Cage
Is there really a need for an explanation on this one. He is awful
People who return produce
Isn't that part of the risk you assume when you buy fruit? Fruit goes bad. Did you not know that? Now you're holding up the returns line with a container of moldy strawberries, that have been sitting in your refrigerator for the last week. REALLY?
Bluetooth person
So when I see a person who appears to be looking at me and speaking at the same time, I assume that they're are talking to me. Then when I respond to them they look at me like I'm an idiot, and motion towards their bluetooth. Oh, so sorry. Please accept my apologies. While were on the topic of bluetooths, sometimes I'll see people with the clip hooked on their ear. They will also be carrying their phone in their hands at the same time. Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of a hands-free set. I'm just sayin
The "Can you tell I work for commission" super annoying retail salesman
Salesman: Can I help you find anything?
Me: I'm just browsing, but thank you
Salesman: Well what are you looking for?
Me: Nothing in particular I'm just browsing
Salesman: Well maybe I can help. What are you looking for?
Me: SHOES...OK..... I'M LOOKING FOR SHOES.
Salesman: Ok, well all of our men's shoes are right here.
Me: Oh you mean this giant wall of shoes, that I'm currently standing in front of...... Thanks for your help
Salesman: Sure any time
Like it's tough to locate the shoe department in Foot Locker...
Bathroom attendents
I feel like they're always watching me as I take a piss. It's creepy. Then they want to strike up a conversation with you. "Lots of ladies out there tonight," he'll say. " You want some breath mints. I got breath mints. What about cologne I got cologne too." REALLY? Are there guys out there that forget to put cologne on when they go out. Then think to themselves, " Oh man I hope the bathroom attendent has Curve." Most of all, I hate the fact that they work for tips. It makes me feel bad for never giving them money. Sorry dude, but you're not getting any cash for handing me a paper towel.
Everyone on ESPN at the moment.
First it was the Tebow craze and now it's Linsanity. Look I realize how big of a deal the whole Jeremy Lin situation is. I think he's awesome, and he's making it fun to watch the Knicks. Does it really need to be talked about constantly though? It's almost 24 hour a day coverage on this dude right now. Come on, there are other things happening in sports. Quit asking random people for their opinion on the matter. The only thing worse than hearing Jalen Rose talk about Jeremy Lin, is hearing Jalen Rose read a tweet from Karl Malone about Jeremy Lin
Nicholas Cage
Is there really a need for an explanation on this one. He is awful
People who return produce
Isn't that part of the risk you assume when you buy fruit? Fruit goes bad. Did you not know that? Now you're holding up the returns line with a container of moldy strawberries, that have been sitting in your refrigerator for the last week. REALLY?
Bluetooth person
So when I see a person who appears to be looking at me and speaking at the same time, I assume that they're are talking to me. Then when I respond to them they look at me like I'm an idiot, and motion towards their bluetooth. Oh, so sorry. Please accept my apologies. While were on the topic of bluetooths, sometimes I'll see people with the clip hooked on their ear. They will also be carrying their phone in their hands at the same time. Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of a hands-free set. I'm just sayin
The "Can you tell I work for commission" super annoying retail salesman
Salesman: Can I help you find anything?
Me: I'm just browsing, but thank you
Salesman: Well what are you looking for?
Me: Nothing in particular I'm just browsing
Salesman: Well maybe I can help. What are you looking for?
Me: SHOES...OK..... I'M LOOKING FOR SHOES.
Salesman: Ok, well all of our men's shoes are right here.
Me: Oh you mean this giant wall of shoes, that I'm currently standing in front of...... Thanks for your help
Salesman: Sure any time
Like it's tough to locate the shoe department in Foot Locker...
Bathroom attendents
I feel like they're always watching me as I take a piss. It's creepy. Then they want to strike up a conversation with you. "Lots of ladies out there tonight," he'll say. " You want some breath mints. I got breath mints. What about cologne I got cologne too." REALLY? Are there guys out there that forget to put cologne on when they go out. Then think to themselves, " Oh man I hope the bathroom attendent has Curve." Most of all, I hate the fact that they work for tips. It makes me feel bad for never giving them money. Sorry dude, but you're not getting any cash for handing me a paper towel.
Everyone on ESPN at the moment.
First it was the Tebow craze and now it's Linsanity. Look I realize how big of a deal the whole Jeremy Lin situation is. I think he's awesome, and he's making it fun to watch the Knicks. Does it really need to be talked about constantly though? It's almost 24 hour a day coverage on this dude right now. Come on, there are other things happening in sports. Quit asking random people for their opinion on the matter. The only thing worse than hearing Jalen Rose talk about Jeremy Lin, is hearing Jalen Rose read a tweet from Karl Malone about Jeremy Lin
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