The Hangover pep talk...



Someone get me some aspirin



Fuck your liver



If you're like me and you like to party, then I'm sure you made the mistake of overdoing it before. That moment when you decide that you've had enough beer, so jager-bombs will now become the drink of choice. It seems like a good idea at the time. Then the slutty looking waitress walks by with a tray full of shots, and you think," What the hell, Why not." The next morning you wake up with the bubble guts and a headache so bad you have to check your scalp to make sure there's no axe wound there. You feel like how you'd imagine Wily Coyote feels every time an anvil gets dropped on his head. You're wondering how the hell you're going to make it through the day. In an attempt to mentally prepare yourself to somehow be a productive citizen, you give yourself a little speech. It goes a little like this......

Oh god.....(gasping) Okay...Okay... Just a little hangover. I'll be fine. Just need to rehydrate myself. Water...Thats what i need... water lots of water. I'll be fine. OH DEAR LORD MY HEAD HURTS. I'm never drinking again...EVER.  Where's the aspirin. Fuck it, where's my phone. I'm calling in sick. Hopefully, I have enough active brain cells left to carry a conversation. No...No... you're not calling in. Man up, it's just a hangover. You'll be Ok. Alright where's my toothbrush. Let's do this. Ok....Ok.....This day is shaping up so far. Getting rid of that awful cigarette - jagermeister breath. It's gonna be a good Ugh.... Oh shit, I felt like I was going to puke there for a second. Guess not. Awesome because I hate puking, it's the worst...Buuuuaaaaaghugghhhuggghuhhhguuuughhhhh. Oh god....Buuuuuuahhughhh...ughhhhhh..  Today is going to suck.