Friday, March 30, 2012

Adult Film directors are so creative....

Sometimes when I get tired of watching Seinfeld reruns and ESPN, I'll start channel surfing. I'll scroll through all 500+ channels, and usually get really dissapointed. Why so many shows about pawn shops? People find that entertaining? Then I'll scroll down too far. All the way past the movie channels that I don't have, because they're too expensive. I've paid for them before, but they always just show the same movies over and over again. It sucks. Twilight seemed to be on constantly. One night I watched it twice by accident. If you haven't seen it, it's a movie about this albino chick who falls in love with a zombie who can fly. Then they go to fight other zombies, and at some point they play baseball for some reason.... I don't know. It was tough to follow.



 Anyways, I scrolled down to far and now I'm in the Adult movie area of my TV guide. I like reading the titles of the movies. Those porn directors are so witty and clever. They want you to know that their film contains erotic mature content, but they don't want to give away the movie's plot. So they name it something subtle like.....Jizz in my mouth 4. What subject matter could this movie deal with? I have no idea. I kind of want to watch it, but I haven't seen parts 1,2 or 3 yet and I know I'll be totally lost. It must be tough for a porn star to be taken seriously in a audition for a non porn related acting gig. I can see it now...

Hi my name is Johnny Long-dong. You might remember me from such films as Big Booty Orgy 3, Suck on my jugs 2, and Cum in my ass parts 2-6. I will be auditioning for the part of Paul Blart. I understand that he is some kind of mall cop or something. I have played a cop before in Slutty School girls 4 as well as Booty Beach patrol 2. I feel I'm more than qualified. I dont have an official head shot or resume, but i will show you my penis if that helps.

I guess that in porn, they just make the movie and then later think of a title for it. They're like " Ok, Anal scene check, blowjob scene check, lesbian scene check, looks like we have a full movie here. What's next.....Oh yeah we need a title. Well, what did we call the last one? Jizz in my mouth 3. Ok we'll call this one Jizz in my mouth 4. Great job guys, let's call it a day. Meet back here tommorow morning 9am sharp. We'll start casting for Jizz in my mouth 5. We're going to need a cop for this movie. I know just the guy. Quick, somebody get Johnny long-dong on the phone.."




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