Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Restaurant Reviews part 3

Melting Pot: 


Pros: N/A

Cons: Pretty much everything.  

What can I say about this place? It's definitely a different experience. But then again, there are restaurants in Japan, where you eat sushi off naked sumo wrestlers... Different isn't always good. This restaurant is a prime example of different being bad. For two people, dinner and a few drinks at The Melting pot will cost you close to $200. It will take 3 hours, and you'll leave hungry. It is as much of a waste of time, as it is a waste of money. Fondue... I'd rather Fondon't. 

First they sit you down and bring you pots of cheese, with trays full of bread and carrots and such to dip in the cheese. This is appetizing for about three minutes. Afterwards, you just want your main course already, but sadly the main course is still about an hour and a half away. The servers just keep walking around every ten minutes or so, enthusiastically stirring your pot of cheese. Saying things like, 

"Are you guys enjoying yourselves!"

"Mmm, that cheese is good isn't it"

"Would you like more carrots?"

Yeah, I want more carrots! That's why I came to this expensive ass restaurant. To fill up on carrots! For fuck's sake, can a man get a plate of meat around here?Then finally, after waiting way longer than anyone should ever have to wait for their entree.  They bring out your meat. The only catch is, YOU HAVE TO FUCKING COOK IT YOURSELF!

Seriously! How easy must it be to work in the kitchen at this place? Do they even call them cooks? They don't cook anything. They should call them crooks. They take my money, while i do their job for them. All they do is bring you raw slabs of meat. Then the waiter comes around to set up your oil pot. Now this is where the fun really begins. See, The pot gets pretty steamy and the steam flows directly into your face, but it's only for like two hours, so it's not a big deal. Then they give you a whole spiel on how long to dip the meat in the pot. The chicken is 2 minutes, the pork is a minute and a half, the beef is 1 minute and 15 seconds, unless you want it well done, then it's a minute 45. I bet you didn't think you'd need a fucking stopwatch tonight did you? 

The problem is, if you take your skewer out too soon, you're going to bite into a piece of raw chicken. If you leave it in too long, it's going to be over cooked and taste like you're chewing on an old boot. It takes 3 or 4 tries before you get it down, and you only get like 20 bites to begin with, so you're stressing yourself out over trying to cook it properly. If you're there with a larger party, there may be a different pot with a different oil on another side of the table, which means people are passing their skewers down to you, because they want to try your oil. You can pass yours down to them too. But make sure you keep track of how long their skewers are in your oil, as well as your skewers, and don't forget about your veggies that are still in the oil as well. Also, while taking your skewer out, try not to hook it on one of the 15 other skewers that may be in there. This may cause your meat to fall in the pot and you have to fish it out with a ladle. 

Needless to say, by the time this whole process is done, you're exhausted, and probably a little pissed. And worst of all, you're still fucking hungry. The Melting Pot is the most overrated restaurant that I've ever had the unfortunate displeasure of dining in. It's horrible, and I give it the lowest possible rating I can give. 0/10. 

I'd rather take a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the taint. 




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