Stephanie vs DJ... The Tanner sister showdown

I can't believe I've had this blog for over a week and still haven't posted about the greatest television series of all time. I still watch Full House all the time and I not ashamed to admit it. It's refreshing to watch a show about a family that gets along and loves each other. There's far too much dysfunction in sitcoms today. The integrity of the Tanner name be mostly be attributed to their patriarch Danny. Danny Tanner was a caring, genuinely nice, stand up classy guy with the patience of a saint. Remember when Stephanie drove Joey's car through the kitchen. Afterwards Danny was as cool as a cucumber. A normal parent would've beaten the shit out of their daughter after that. Not Danny he just sent Stephanie to her room without dinner and that was that. 

Danny Tanner was a huge star in the Bay Area as a co-host of the hit morning show Wake up San Francisco. He was also an extremely talented musician as evident in the episode where he auditions to be a  guitarist  in Jesse and the Rippers under the moniker Mildew. Mildew was shredding on the guitar and was clearly better than anyone else who auditioned. Mildew should've gotten the gig, but instead Jesse went with the younger and far less talented Viper. Mildew should've slapped Uncle Jesse with an ageism suit, but Danny Tanner was far too classy for that. The best thing that Danny Tanner ever did was produce two fine-ass daughters. DJ and Stephanie were both super hot , but which one was hotter? Lets analyze shall we?

DJ was beautiful. Well maybe not so much as first. She was actually a little chunky in the earlier years. I think that's when she developed her self-esteem problems. Remember her eating disorder in season 4. How unattractive was that? I also think the reason she was always hanging around with Kimmy Gibbelar was so she could look better by comparison. That's a move I consider to be severly lacking in class . DJ was always striving to gain the favors of Kathy Santoni and the rest of the cool kids. It's a shame that she wasn't happy with who she was.

Stephanie immediately fit in with the cool kids. Her first day in junior high, and she was already smoking cigarettes in the bathroom with Mickey and Gia. in the sixth grade Steph ditched her former best friend Mr.Bear for Gia. Gia was a troublemaker and became a bad influence on Stephanie.
Shortly after meeting Gia, Stephanie was going to make out parties and getting picked up by random guys at the mall. She was becoming a bad girl, which only made her more attractive.

When DJ got older she got hotter, a lot hotter actually. She thinned down and filled out, and it was nice. What wasn't nice however, was watching her date one douchebag after another. First Steve, then that rich guy Nelson and let's not forget her fling with that loser Viper. My biggest problem with Viper is that he inadvertently prevented Mildew from becoming a star. I've always resented Viper for that. Anyways, by season 8 she was one of the hottest chicks in school and had just been accepted into Stanford. DJ had it going on.

Lets not forget that Stephanie was in a band, and that makes her so much hotter. Especially since they were headlining at the Smash Club. In 1997 the Smash Club was ranked  as the second best night club in all of California. So, Yeah playing there was kind of a big deal. Unfortunately for them they only played one song, and it was a lousy rendition of  "I saw the sign" by Ace of Base. Seriously Stephanie, first of all if you're going to play an Ace of Base cover you should play "All that she wants" not "I saw the sign" come on Steph. Secondly it would help to know how to play the song. Gia was out of tune and Gibbelar was way off on the keyboard. What the hell was Kimmy Gibbelar doing on the keyboard anyway. If I were managing that band, I would fire Gibbelar, move Gia to keyboard, and hire the greatest guitarist in all of San Francisco as a replacement. Yes I am of course talking again about Mildew. You really can't go wrong with Mildew

Whoops, I guess I got a little sidetracked there. Whatever I'm tired of trying to figure which one was hotter.
Instead please enjoy this video of Uncle jesse singing "Forever".