Why QuikTrip is superior to all other gas stations...

Ever been driving through the country with your gas tank on empty, and the only options to fill up are a run-down Conoco, or a slightly less run-down Petro-Mart? Of course, you opt for the Petro-Mart, for fear that a greasy trucker will be lurking in the bathroom of the Conoco, with intentions of flashing you his wiener, but the reality is, that they both seem like seedy establishments.

Come on in, and try our Kool-Aid...

You walk past the two clerks, Lowell and Fulton, as they sip on Big gulps, while listening to Lowell's Shania Twain cassette tape, completely unaware of the soda spill, in the middle of the floor, that was likely caused by them, because nobody else is even around. It's not like they didn't have time, because they were cleaning the bathrooms. This becomes apparent as you open the door, and the stench of the commode blasts you in the face with the force of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. At least you can distract yourself from the vicious scent, with a little bathroom stall reading. You look to your left to see, the standard racist comments, accompanied by multiple drawings of wieners, as well as confirmation that Derrick T was there at one point. You look to your right to see, yet more wieners, and a phone number to call for an alleged good time. You then consider washing your hands, except there's no soap, and the roll of paper towels is lying on the ground.

It'd be a lot cooler if there was a QuikTrip here, you think to yourself. Then again, perhaps Turdville, Kentucky doesn't exactly generate the sufficient amount of traffic, or qualified applicants, for that matter, to justify QuikTrip setting up shop there. So maybe comparing these backwoods rest stop convenience stores, to classy establishments like QT, is unfair.


So, lets try Mobil On the Run. Mobil On the Run's were designed to challenge QT, but they provide about as much competition as Bird gives to Michael Jordan. Not Larry Bird, but rather Jerry Bird, the power forward who played for the Knicks in the late fifties. He averaged 2.3 points per game,. He wasn't very good.

 

Mobil On the Run's are spacious, and clean. They have a variety of coffee, and soft drink selections, as well as premade sandwiches. While they don't have the quality of hot foods like QT, what they truly lack is a sense of urgency. The most important word here is....Wait for it....Convenience!!!

Cashiers at QT ensure your purchase is prompt, concise, and they can count change with rapid-fire consistency. Even if there is a line, you're not going to wait more than 45 seconds, before you're efficiently checked out, and excessively thanked. I'd much rather experience that, than have to wait in a long line, with a subpar Taquito, watching some troglodyte struggle to unwrap a roll of nickels. Even if you're paying with a Debit Card, they make things difficult for you.

 

Ok, is it Debit or Credit? Debit. OK, hit the green button. OK, now hit enter. Now your pin. Hit enter again. Ok, hit yes. Do you want cash back? Hit no. Ok now hit the green button again. Ok, now type in the last name of your 6th grade math teacher. Ok, Thanks have a good day.

 

These other gas stations can't hold a candle to QT's service, and although there are many differences between them and their competitors, none is more undeniable. When It comes down to it, QuikTrip is Michael Jordan. Everyone else is Jerry Bird.