The Customer is always right?

There have been many clichés coined throughout the history of time, that brazenly defy logic. Audacious sayings that make me cringe every time they're spoken.

Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

What does that even mean? Now instead of a simple grocery stop, you've got me grabbing 18 different baskets for each individual egg. There has to be a more efficient way to transport these eggs. After all, isn't that the reason the carton was invented?

In a perfect world.

Quit saying this to justify life's little idiosyncrasies. I once asked why commercials are usually louder than the shows, and received "In a perfect world", as a response. No my friend, you are incorrect. In a perfect world I'd be waking up in a king size bed, at a beachside mansion, next to Kate Upton, while Rachael Ray busily prepares us breakfast. I'm sorry I don't share your sentiments, about adequate volume control being the true definition of perfection.

I want to actually urinate on people who say, Better to be pissed off than pissed on, but no statement makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up like, The customer is always right.

Think about that for a second. The customer is always right? Anyone who's ever worked a day in their lives, at a place where this saying held even the slightest bit of precedence, knows that this is bullshit. The customer is always right, is nothing more than an antiquated cliché used by assholes to justify an irrational sense of entitlement. The guy holding up the returns line with a 12 year old toaster sees nothing wrong with such a frivolous exchange, because he's the customer, therefore he's always right. The lady practically biting the head off the 16 year old kid at Burger King, because she was given a Whopper, rather than a double whopper, shows no remorse. Instead, she contentiously curses out the kid, the manager, and demands a number for corporate. She basically feels the need to speak to the president of the company, all because a trainee on their 3rd day, inadvertently tried to make her less fat.

Consumer reports aren't made by level-headed individuals, but rather by curmudgeons who feel like they should take down an entire company, because their shopping cart had a wobbly wheel that day. As well as their inability to engage in civilized discourse, helplessness is also a trait that personifies the "Always right customer". Once they set foot in your establishment, you assume legal guardian duties over the whole family. Their kids become your problem, and you become the babysitter.

Once their kids are running rampant, the customer makes it their job to keep you from doing yours. I had a lady once flag me down, when it was clear that I was in the middle of something important to ask me what kind of dog food, was the right kind of dog food, for her dog. While watching her kids play on top of a pallet jack, and nearly having a heart attack, envisaging them falling and breaking their arms. I had to calmly explain to the lady, that despite the fact that I work at a place that sells pet food, I am not actually a licensed veterinarian.  We sell golf clubs too, would you like me to critique your swing?

All I ask is that you try. Don't ask the guy stocking car batteries where the milk is. Why the hell are you looking for it in the automotive aisle to begin with? You clearly have no common sense, and are probably the same person who walks into a restaurant 10 minutes before closing, and thinks, " Hey, this is plenty of time for my entire family and I, to order a bunch of well-done steaks, right?

 



The biggest problem with the customer always being right, is that the customer actually believes it. I watched a couple go through self-checkout once and after they were done scanning, and were attempting to box up their groceries, they dropped their eggs all over the floor. They then approached me and said, "We need some new eggs." Not... "We need to buy some new eggs" or  "Do you have a mop?" Nope, it was implied that they needed some new free eggs, and what was I going to do about it?  They're the customer and they couldn't make it 5 feet from checkout, without dropping and breaking the most delicate item they had just purchased, but this somehow becomes my problem. Not only that, but after I sent somebody to grab them new eggs, they waited rather impatiently, like it was a burden for them. I'm kneeling on the ground next to them wiping up their mess, and they're saying, "What's taking so long?" Oh, my deepest apologies. Is there anything else I can get for you? Perhaps you would like 17 more baskets for your eggs, as you clearly are having difficulties with this. When it comes down to it, you should just treat people, how you want to be treated. What goes around comes around. You reap what you sow. These sayings make sense to me. The Customer is always right? I beg to differ.