There you are, out and about, when suddenly it hits you. You've got that 2:30 feeling. You pull into the nearest QT, walk right past the 5-hour energy display, and opt for a more reasonably priced Rooster Booster, or coffee. Sure the 2:30 feeling is a motto coined by 5-hour energy, but paying $4 for a 1 ounce bottle, just isn't happening. You're tired, you're not stupid. You patiently wait in line, staring at the 80 year old man in front of you, blowing his kids' inheritance, on scratch-offs, and lotto tickets, when suddenly you remember what you overheard Linda from accounting saying earlier, while you were on your knees attempting to unclog a paper jam, on that piece of shit copier for the third time this week, while fighting back the urge to shout out obscenities, and replaying that scene from Office Space in your head.
"The Mega Millions Jackpot might hit a billion" , Linda said.
A billion! That's way more than a million. How many millions even fit in a billion? I don't know, A mega amount???
You add a couple tickets to your purchase, and the thought of you winning immediately crosses your mind. So much so, that it's all you can think about. The idea of you winning that much money, releases so much dopamine in your brain, that you're instantly wide awake, and no longer have a need for your coffee. Before you even leave the parking lot, you're trying to decide what outfit you should wear, while accepting your giant-ass check on TV. You start rehearsing your speech, for when you quit your job, and begin picking the people you're going to tell off, and how you're going to do it. Your imagination runs wild, as you conjure up images of yourself cruising down the autobahn, in an exotic sports car, with Kate Upton in the passenger seat, and a bag of money in the back.
The drawing is still a day away, but you're already setting aside a certain amount to invest. Sure you plan on splurging, but you've got to be smart about it, and as cool as it would be to have an attachment to your mansion filled with coins, that you could swim in like Scrooge McDuck, it's not exactly a practical expense. A frivolous purchase like that, could end with you starring in your own, E True Hollywood Story.
On the other hand, you have enough money, to never have to wear the same thing more than once, and even if you do, you can afford to dry-clean everything. Everything! You don't have to clip coupons either. Fuck it, you're rich. Walk right in that place, throw everything you own on the counter, and demand that it's ready the next day. Sure, I'll pay extra. What's that? Do I want starch? Fuck yeah, I want starch. Starch the shit out of this shit. Then throw a stack of hundreds in the air, and walk out of that bitch like this...
Then he bought a pack of Doral 100's, hopped in his 88' Ford Escort, and drove back to his studio apartment.
This seems to be the normal mindset for the general public, when it comes to the lotto, and it's confusing as hell. Especially when the places that distribute these tickets, are the same establishments that sell gasoline. Gasoline constantly fluctuates in price, and people bitch about the price going up, even when it's by the most miniscule amount. They think they're being savvy by driving 6 miles to save 5 cents a gallon, yet a chance to win 20 million is an egregious expense. I don't know, maybe it's my short commute to work, but I've never really payed attention to gas prices. It goes up. It goes down. It is what it is. It would be different if we had options. If pouring Vess Cola in your gas tank, served as an alternative, then trust me, I wouldn't be paying $3 for a gallon of gas.
Imagine if cars ran on Vess Cola. What a world that would be. Especially since now sometimes when I fill up I'll pick up the nozzle and gasoline gets on my hands. Then my hands smell like gasoline and I get all pissed off. That wouldn't happen with Vess Cola. Instead I would be all like, " Oh Sweet my hands smell like Vess Cola, that's awesome."
I wonder if any of the big car companies are working on this. How long until there's a prototype out? It kinda makes me want to go buy a bunch of Vess Cola stock. Then when the cars comes out, and they sell like crazy I'll become rich as balls. I'd be able to quit my job and play golf all day. I'd also have time to learn how to play golf. I really hope this happens so i can make millions, but if that doesn't work out at least I still have my lottery ticket.
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